How Procedural Learning Traps Us in Shame—And How to Rewire It 

You know that gut-punch feeling when you snap at your kid or when guilt creeps in after making a totally reasonable parenting decision? 

What if that “I feel like shit” moment isn’t really about what just happened—but about something much older, buried deep in your body’s memory?

Shame isn’t just an emotion—it’s a survival response, wired into your nervous system through years (maybe generations) of learning to shrink, keep the peace, and stay safe.

And postpartum? That’s when these old patterns surge back with a vengeance.

This phenomenon influenced my creation of the No Harm, No Foul Postpartum Identity Exploration Opus—a series where we get curious about the tangled mess of identity, shame, and survival patterns that surface in the postpartum years.

This series is presented on Substack, where I blend free-flow writing, psychoeducation, and mixed-media reflections to explore what it really means to navigate this chapter of life. 

This first post in the series unpacks how procedural learning makes shame automatic, why mom guilt can feel so all-consuming, and how to start breaking the cycle. Because you don’t actually have to live at the mercy of shame’s grip.

Read the first post here → [The Learning/Experiencing of Shame]